So earlier when I told you that when the planets align together overhead you wouldn’t have to worry about drifting away into space, you’d had to have taken my word for it. Well since it’s better to teach a person to fish than it is to give them a fish (or something like that) I’ll explain why no such thing could would or ever will fucking happen.
It’s called Newton’s law of universal gravitation and it’s actually really easy to manipulate. It goes like this:
Since “G” equals “6.67×10−11 N·(m/kg)2”, a constant (called the gravitational constant), you don’t really need to worry about that. So now look at it like this:
What does this mean and why is it easy to understand? Well, “m1” and “m2” are the masses of the two bodies with a gravitational attraction. The reason why it’s always two is that for every body with mass, they both exhibit a gravitational pull proportional to their mass, not just the larger one. Yes, that means the sun is being gravitationally pulled by everything else in the solar system. Why’s the sun at the center then? It’s mass is about 99% of the solar system, as you can see in picture number two.
That said, the masses wouldn’t be changing according to this April Fool’s prank, their alignment overhead would be. It sounds like the prankster is implying that the distances would be close enough that their gravitational pull would overcome Earth’s. Here’s why that’s false:
"r^2" is the distance from the two bodies that are gravitationally pulling on each other. Let’s say the force of gravity between you and the earth is "1", if you double the "r" or distance between you and the center of the Earth the gravitational force between you would go from the inverse of "r=1^2" to "r=2^2":
It would go from 1 to 1/4. 25% of the gravitational force. What’s the point? When distance becomes bigger the gravitational force between two objects drops VERY fast. It’s an inverse square relationship.
For all the planets to align at a distance enough to pull us into the air, we’d be watching Saturn’s rings cut into the Moon and even then the Earth would just become a moon of Jupiter or Saturn, we wouldn’t get pulled from the Earth. Even if that sort of “mass” effect were true of the April Fools prank then go back to the total mass of the solar system: 99% of it is the sun. By that logic we’d be melting into vapor on our way into big old Sol.
So there you go. Science.